As I took a slow walk along the valley behind my house one sunny fourth of July last year, I was looking in awe at the dead trees, and the poison ivy that some people believe to be flowers, and smelling the water in the creek (that I know comes from the sewers), when a bird pooed on my head. I thought “oh well” just another ordinary day. As I ran along, I bumped into a buddy of mine that I will call Stinky and please don't ask why I call him that, I think it is obvious. As we walked, I told him about the bird, and he replied “take me to the tree that you were standing under, its good luck”. If I had thought for one minute that it was good luck I would have found some dog dirt and rolled around in it, (as you may have figured Stinky really doesn’t have much of a social life, but then again, were two of a kind).
Our biggest problem is communicating with women. Stinky can usually mouth a few comments, then he has to leave the scene. I’m a little more relaxed since I work with a lot of women anyway. I can usually have somewhat of a conversation with them before I start to sweat and have any confidence suddenly elude me, then I have to politely excuse myself.
Stinky feels that women's standards are too high when it comes to dating, however, I disagree. I really don't believe for a minute the women suggesting that he have a shower before picking her up is considered “high slandered”. Stinky might be the least washed fellow I know, but he is one of the nicest (nicest not brightest). However, he does sometimes on occasion come up with pretty amazing idea's that make more sense then not, but I'm not sure about this one. “We will join a Dating Site” he cried out. I said before sometimes he comes up with smart idea's but this wasn't one of those times. He proceeded to inform me that a friend at work gave him the idea(nice friend). “Is this the same friend that leaves deodorant and body wash on your desk?” I asked. “It sure is! He's a very thoughtful person,” (is he for real). Stinky said “My friend met a wonderful women on a dating site,” (what women?? the guy he's talking about is gay!) “Why would your homosexual friend use a dating site to meet women?” I asked, “I think your getting in over your head”. In the end, and after weeks of hiding from Stinky and his crazy idea, I finally decided to give in just to humor him.
As I tried to sleep that night, all I could think about was the last date I had, which ended in complete disaster for me. I’m sure the woman I'll call “hungry”, hadn’t eaten in a few days prior to our date and she must have thought I had a big trust fund or something! After she had consumed several finger sandwiches as well as several other side dishes, expensive wine and the entree of lamb chops, I checked the balance in my bank account, then to my horror she demanded we order desert! “Desert!?” I quickly reminded her that this was not an all you can eat buffet, she then jumped up called me things I've never heard before and made her way to the door. Like the desperate person I am, I ran after her and asked if she would like to see me again, at which time she beat me with her hand bag (I guess that meant no!). So I went back to the table and sat by myself looking at the bill she had run up and wondered if I would be able to get lots of overtime at work next week to pay for it.
I started to have a lot of doubts about joining a dating site, but since my best friend was very excited about it (and knowing he would do anything for me), I decided to go through with it. It turned out to be the best move that we had ever made. Stinky and I both joined a Dating Site, and it wasn’t long before we had responses from some beautiful ladies. We were both very worried and excited to think that we might no longer have to prop up blowup dolls on our couches so the neighbors would see the silhouette and think we actually had lives. Stinky asked me “what should I do to get ready?”I said “just get in the shower and don't forget to turn the water on, use that bar of soap (you only had it for whole year) and scrub your troubles down the drain”, (as well as the dirt and body odor of course). We double dated that evening to support each other, and we had a wonderful time. It was a standard dinner and dancing date, but it just went so well. Stinky took me aside and declared that this was the woman of his dreams. I gave him a bear hug, and said “follow your heart,” and he did. She seemed to take to him as well, surprisingly!
Well I don't call him Stinky anymore, (no one does now that he has learned basic hygiene). He is and always will be, my best friend. Henry is still with his special woman that he met on that dating site. This was several years ago and after dating for two years, they tied the knot. They had two children and are expecting another any time now. As for me, it took a little longer, but I finally found my life partner, and we are expecting our first child soon. Life is great and it keeps getting better!
Its true what they say, there's somebody for everyone. All you have to do is look in the right place and you'll find them. In many cases, it takes a nudge from someone who cares about you to get you going in the right direction . Life is too short and precious to spend it alone, wondering what your life would be like if you had done something to find that special person. So if you want to be happy then take my advice, and get off your ass and go for it.
Hey, if Stinky and I can do it, so can you! There are so many dating sites out there that you might think you'll never find the right one, but I'll give you a tip, this is the site that me and Stinky used to find the best sites for us and in our opinion its the best place to find dating sites. So if you are tired of being lonely and want someone to be your life companion well just follow this link, it will be the best move you ever make.
Online Personals Sites
No comments:
Post a Comment