Sunday, October 30, 2011

Maintaining A Healthy Relationship


It appears to me that a lot of  couples these days, forget who they started out being.Many couples forget their roots. After being together for a  few years or more they seem to lose that friendship that once bonded them together. Why is that?  Do we really change all that much?  I don't think so. So why the drift? The truth is we just get too comfortable, and no longer put forth  the effort  that we did in the beginning. To fix it, we have to inject new life into the mix.

You should reflect on your relationship and what has changed—you will likely find that you had a lot more intimacy in the early days of your relationship. This would include more phone calls, texting, touching, kissing and other endearments . Those early connections not only moved the relationship forward initially, they are also instrumental in keeping the relationship fresh now.  It all used to come so easy with the excitement of having a new partner - do we have to let that excitement die? For a long term relationship to succeed for the long term, a lot of work is required from both parties.  Stress is the usual place to put the blame, but that is not always applicable.  All these issues were probably the same ones we've  dealt with in the past that made us closer in the first place.

We fall into a pattern- we get lazy. We get into our comfort zone, and let things deteriorate past the point of no return. Men might check out other women and make complementary comments about them, all the while forgetting to compliment the one they are with.  Women might take a look at the cute butt of some hot guy, and romanticize about them. The issue is that we start to neglect each other in small ways that end up being very significant in the long run. We start to feel less adequate - less attractive. Many times we do not want to bring up each small issue,for fear of looking like a nit picker, but the result is a cascading failure of the relationship as small issues continue to be swept under the carpet. Both men and women need to be fearless in expressing their disapproval, and faultless in absorbing and trying to understand the complaints.  We need to always be aware of our partners feelings - to build a lifelong romance takes work, commitment, understanding and tolerance of each others viewpoints. Here are a few things we can do to make our relationships stay healthy:

1) Go out of your way to complement your partner each day. It will make both of you feel good.
2) Love them and tell them that you love them. Never force them to assume that you love them
3) Men, stop ogling—there's  no harm in looking, but lets get real here, is it necessary to ogle at every pretty face you see when you got the best thing right next to you. And yes, this goes for women also.
4)  Honesty.....no one likes to be lied to so why do it. Tell each other everything, it will produce conversation
5) Have some alone time....every day make a little time whether its just a stroll, or snuggling up on the sofa to watch a movie
6) Communicate- tell your partner how you feel, and work things out before they become worse than they are.
7) Always start your day off with a kiss, and a hug, and a good morning- it starts your day off on a positive note, and it feels real good too.
8) Be relaxed and do not be afraid of public displays of affection – some public kissing and tenderness will exhibit to the world how you care about your partner and broadcast to them that you love them and want to make sure that everyone knows it
9) Make sure that you smile and take life as the fun adventure that it is meant to be. You may think that frowning and being serious all the time is a way to get ahead in life, but in actual fact it works against you in your personal life, your relationships and in your professional business life as well.
10)  Never go to bed angry – talk it out and work it out – the best thing for a relationship is a kiss before you go to sleep. The second best thing is sex before you go to sleep. You cannot have the second without the first.

Relationships all have their ups, and downs, but if you have heart, and desire to make it work it will blossom into something special. So, don't let that spark creep away- follow the above rules, and create some of your own a long the way....just have fun if you can dream about it then you can achieve it...


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