Tied Up On A Date

A few months ago, I was having trouble getting women to go out with me. It is not as if I look like the hunchback of Notre Dame or live on the street or anything. But a rather sad set of events culminated in the perfect storm of social setbacks one night for me, so I was no longer seen as a guy to hang out with. At least, not by women!

I have had a few embarrassing events happen in my life but nothing as embarrassing as this sad story that I am about to tell you.

It all started when some friends gave me an invite to go to a formal dance with them. Because of the formal nature of the dance, I was expected to wear dress pants and jacket, as opposed to the more casual attire I usually went clubbing in. The pants were not an issue as I had a couple of suitable pairs. The jacket was something else again and I had to buy one. I did not have a lot of money, but I was optimistic I would find something. I am no fashion guru, so I threw myself on the mercy of the first sales clerk I ran into.. I told him I was going out dancing at a nice place an needed a jacket to go with my black pants. He indicated that they had some really great, inexpensive jackets that they had imported from Mexico recently. They felt a little rough, but I kinda liked the yellow color that I thought would look snazzy on me. The big plus was that they were really inexpensive, so I bought one.

Later that day, I prepared for my big date. Showered, shaved, combed my hair a new way, and tried some new aftershave that I had bought that day that was supposed to drive women crazy. I liked what I saw when I looked in the mirror. Here was someone who was an up and comer with I thought. Unfortunately, I did not notice a pesky loose thread on the back of my jacket near the shoulder seam.

I met my buddies at the dance. It was packed with lots of people that I knew and many more that I did not. After a half hour or so my date arrived. Did I mention that my buddies set me up with her? She was in a big hurry to get on the dance floor, and after a very short introduction, she was dragging me out to dance. Things were really looking up. All of a sudden she informs me that there is a lose thread on the shoulder of my jacket. I told her to forget about it but it seems she just couldn't keep her fingers off the stupid thing. She decided to do me a favor and pull it off. Unfortunately when she pulled it all hell broke loose.

She started to pull the thread, but instead of breaking, it just kept coming out. It got long enough to reach the floor The band was wailing away on a punk version of  “All Shook Up” originally recorded by Elvis Presley. In any event, it really had people moving on the floor. As the thread fell on the floor, it began to get tangled around several ankles. The faster they danced the more entangled they became. Eventually someone tripped, who knocked down someone else, who fell on a table and upset everything. By the time the smoke cleared, three couples were on the floor along with six upset tables. What a disaster! My so called buddies all fled the scene and left me to face the music alone.

The owner of the club started to scream at me. He was truly pissed! I looked around me to see if I could find something to crawl under, but of course I could not as the tables near me were all tipped over! The owner handed me a large ball of yellow burlap. He hollered out, “Take your sack and get out!” So I did just that. On the bright side, I still had one sleeve left of my new jacket. The rest was a wad of burlap string wadded in my hands. Needless to say, I threw all of it into the nearest trash can as I trudged home.

So that is my tale of woe! No sane woman who knew me, or knew of me, would date me. My reputation and $500.00 could not even buy me a hooker!!

It was my sister who eventually came to my rescue. She said that I had to cast my net farther afield if I ever hoped to get a date. She thought that the least expensive way to do that was to join an online dating site. After careful consideration I decided to give the dating site idea a go. Hell I had nothing to lose but my self respect (oh wait, I had already lost that) and everything to gain. I picked one at random, but had no luck. So I googled dating, and was overwhelmed at the number of sites. Which one would be the best for me. I tried the top site POF.com – stands for plenty of fish, but I did not have much luck on it.  My sister came to my rescue again and suggested the link that I will share below. It has a big list of quality dating sites to choose from. I signed up to a couple of sites, and finally met someone who can take me for who I am, and not the idiot who bought a cheap jacket once.

So if you looking for a great dating site or chatline look no further than this link. It will lead you to dozens of the best online sites on the internet, I'm sure you'll find what your looking for here, I certainly did.

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