Making Her Dinner How To Succeed

Inviting a woman over for a dinner date for the first time is a tough hurdle in any relationship. It can be a wonderful intimate experience for both of you to kick back and truly relax. Unfortunately it can also lead to disaster very easily. Here are some simple tips to consider before undertaking such an important event.

If you have been smart enough to ask her on previous dates what her favorite take out foods are, then coming up with a suitable menu to order in is a cake walk. It has a couple of benefits in that you are not stressed about cooking, and if she does not particularly like it you can blame someone else. Just make sure that you do not promise her home cooked when you invite her. However, if you do feel like you’re a good cook, here are some dos and don’ts:


Things That You Should Do

Unless your date does not like wine, or does not drink at all, wine is a good choice. It shows sophistication, and at the same time shows her that you can do more than just guzzle beer. Pick something appropriate. A red like a Merlot or Cabernet sauvignon for red meats, or a white, like pinot grigio, chardonnay, or sauvignon blanc for chicken or fish. And do not cheap out or go too expensive. Something in the $12.00 to $20.00 a bottle range for a dinner date will likely prove sufficient, and will be acceptable even if she has a more educated pallet than you do.

Even if she is not into Japanese sushi or maki, then picking up some simple vegetarian California rolls ahead of time and keeping them in the fridge would be appropriate.

A pot roast can be fine because you can leave it on for longer than planned and it will still be okay. Stay away from an open roast, or lamb chops which will be ruined if she is delayed for some reason. Anything that can be kept on warm in the oven after cooking is a good choice. Anything that can be cooked in a few minutes after she arrives is a good choice. Anything that takes a while to cook and has to be served within a few minutes of being cooked, or something that does not do well being kept warm is a bad choice.

Before undertaking the first cooking date, make sure you have any food allergies down cold. The life threatening ones are worry some, but the annoying little sensitivities can prove to be an intimacy killer as well. Having an over the counter anti histamine like benedryl in your medicine chest for emergencies is always a good idea. It has a pretty long shelf life, so will likely still be good even if you do not tap into it for a couple of years.

Keep your portions small, especially if the food is inherently heavy. You do not want either one of you to be too bloated to have sex afterwards, if the evening turns out as planned.

Candles and music are a must. Choose something that is easy to listen to. A relaxed sonata is easier to digest to than a booming overture.


Bad Things To Do

Don’t try something new. If it doesn’t turn out, then you’re stuck ordering pizza. Stick to your strengths and dazzle her with your expertise.

Avoid anything involving garlic and onion unless you buy her an extra toothbrush in a sealed package. Explain that you didn’t buy it expecting her to use it in the morning, but because you might want to do some kissing. She’ll blush.

You do not have to impress her with fancy china, but on the other hand paper plates are a no-no. For a set of inexpensive matching dinnerware and silverware, Wal-Mart is your friend.

Do not over spice, and stay away from gassy foods like cucumbers. For a similar reason, serving soda pop or beer should be avoided. Burping is just not romantic.

Desert

Light deserts like sherbet, fruit cups or ice cream are in. Cheesecake and similar heavy deserts are out, even in small portions. You do not want anything that can make either of you feel bloated.

Ideally, you want something you can spread on each other if dinner goes really well. Consider keeping some hot fudge warming on the stove top in case of success.

Here's to your success!

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Advice For Men

Dating – A First Time For Everything

When you begin dating someone and they turn out to be a person you’d like to see regularly, there will likely be some significant firsts in your relationship that you’ll need to be prepared for.  Here are a few of the biggest hurdles and what you can do to handle the situation.

Premiere Puke

In the normal course of any relationship, eventually your partner is going to end up drinking too much and vomiting. It has happened to everyone. If your date is getting sick, the best thing to do is give them a bucket, space, a glass of water and a washcloth. If you date has long hair, you can either tie it back, or else just stand there and hold it out of harm's way. In any event, after the worst is over, they are going to want to clean up. Hopefully you have a few extra toothbrushes available. If not, then give them yours. They will not mind, and you can always replace it. Buy several when you do. While you are at it, pick up some gaviscon. That is a sure fire way to settle an upset stomach so you can avoid repeat events later. This is not the most wonderful of events, but if you can get past it and still like her, then likely you have something going between you. If you have prepared buy buying a few extras, then it is a much less traumatic experience for all.

First Silent Sender In Bed

This can be a very delicate moment. If you are not the culprit, then try to not make anything big about it. Treat it like no big deal. Just remember that if they feel comfortable enough to pass wind around you, then they are getting a lot more comfortable with the entire relationship as well. If it’s going to smell, get up and get a drink of water and give it time to air out. If it turns out that you are the perpetrator, then just say a polite,"Excuse Me." Do not try to blame it on any specific thing. Likely your partner already knows what you have been ingesting that night, and therefore can draw their own conclusions as to the reasons. No matter what, avoid a blue dart lighting contest. And under no circumstances shoe their head under the sheets. If you have really outdone yourself so that 'Pepe le Peu' would notice, then just open a window.

First Sonic Sender

Once that first bed-time fart has happened, the inevitable next first will be the first showmanship fart. So in this situation, not only do you let out the fart, but you do it loudly. Sometimes this is referred to as a showmanship fart. Besides the fact that it is very immature, it is also a sign of intimacy. If you or your partner feel that you have reached the point where your basest bodily actions are not an issue, then it represents a whole new level in your relationship. If you partner is the perpetrator, then a smile and grin is okay. If it is more than just noise, thank them for the warning as you get upwind. If you are the one who set of the gas cloud, then you need to take your next cues from your partner. If they laugh and applaud, then take a bow. Otherwise, excuse yourself and keep your anal regions buttoned up tight in the future.

Using The Toilet For The First Time When One Of You Is In The Shower

When you’ve been dating someone for a while, at one point while one of you is showering, the other is going to need to use the toilet. If it’s your partner in the shower and you are in desperate need of using the toilet, simply announce your presence as you enter the bathroom and explain what is going on. Make sure that you tell them that you will not flush until they are finished.  PUT THE LID DOWN WHEN YOU ARE DONE.  If you are the one in the shower, then ask them not to flush, but be ready in-case they do it out of force of habit. You might even ask them to join you when they are done so you can mutually wash each other. Very entertaining.

Morning Breath

This is a real glass is half empty/full moment. On the good side, they spent the night, which is always a good thing. You wake up snuggled to your date, who is still grinning from your fabulous sex techniques. They plant a big kiss on you to say “good morning”. Unfortunately their breath smells like they ate a skunk’s anus for a midnight snack. You suppress your natural urge to shove them as far away from you as you can. Do not react like that! Instead, say something sweet and sexy. Likely you have dragon breath as well, so you have to be fair about it. Get up to "Pee" and while up, brush your teeth and your tongue. Offer to make them some sort mint tea. Casually mention while you are on your way to the kitchen that you have an extra new toothbrush in the bathroom for them if they want to use one. They will jump at the chance. The real pros keep a small container of peppermint candy on the bedside table. Once the odor problem is taken care of, take another turn in the sack to see what other positions you can dream up.

Meeting Friends and Family

It is always a challenge the first time that you meet your partner's friends. They will all be checking you out to see if you are good enough for their pal. Some will be friendly, and some will be hostile A few of them will likely still be friendly with your partner's ex. In fact, they may even be rooting for them to pick things back up again. Needless to say, you are in the way of that objective, so they will be looking for ways to pull you apart. Some of them will be secretly interested in your partner, and want you out of the picture altogether. If you are lucky, some of them may even lust after you. This would be most fortunate if you are a guy and they are a MILF.

You have to behave like a Shito priest. Regardless of the provocation, you must be in control of your emotions and serene. Find the ones who are the most friendly, and spend most of your time with those people. Make jokes and act intelligently. Whenever possible, give your partner public shows of affection. Just do not get sickening about it. This will help you to establish the fact that they are with you and not anyone else. It is best to set a drink limit on yourself when you get to the party. That way you will not get drunk and do something stupid in retaliation. Just remember to stay cool and go out of your way to turn the other cheek.

The Ex

The first time you and your date are out in public and you run into their ex, it can be a tricky moment. This is especially tricky if they still have feelings for your partner. A one sided dumping of the Ex by your partner will almost certainly result in such a dilemma. You need to assess the emotional state of the Ex as rapidly as possible. They can be buddy buddy, or they can be somewhat antagonistic. If they’re friendly, then you be friendly. Offer your hand in friendship. Let your date and their ex have a few minutes of small talk. If there is hostility or anger, never escalate. In this situation the best response is a tactful withdrawal. Nothing will be gained by confrontation. Calmly suggest to your partner that you both should leave, and then do so. Take them someplace where you can talk to them easily. Likely they will need to vent a bit after such a confrontation. The tactful withdrawal is the high road and that should always be followed. It is much more classy than a brawl! Once you’ve left the ex behind, then you should feel free to make fun of their hairstyle.

The rules of engagement (excuse the pun) are pretty much the same if it happens to be your own Ex that you bump into. If your current partner sees that you can maintain a somewhat friendly relationship with your Ex, it is bonus points for you.  If you can maintain a good relationship with your Ex, then it gives you kudos points. If it turns out that you have a hostile relationship with your Ex, then get out of dodge as quickly as can be gracefully achieved. You do not want them to start nattering on about stuff best left forgotten in the past.

Eating Crackers In The Sack

Most partners will just eat a few with you. It would be a relationship disaster if it turns out that “Crackers” is your pooch. In this case both of your relationships are going to the dogs!

The First Time You Are Found In Bed With Genital Grease And A Goose

You can kiss your relationship goodbye. You may even be locked up. Hopefully at the funny farm.

The First Time You Are Found Playing Tonsil Hockey With Your Ex

If your partner and your Ex are into orgies, you might still be okay. Otherwise, your relationship has just been given the kiss of death. Leave post haste with whatever dignity you might have left.


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Everyday Relationships Advice

Dates For Open-Minded Ladies

Once in a while, the universe will smile on a single man and hook him up with an open-minded and adventurous woman in his dating life. The kind of woman who isn’t “prim and proper”, but rather, one who is interesting and kinky.  For this type of lady, you have to take her somewhere crazy, or somewhere to excite her. Here are some ideas to get you thinking outside of the box so that you can end up inside the best sort of box on a regular basis!

Stripper Club

Find out if your women digs seeing nude women. If so, then some sort of stripper bar is a good place for an evening out. This is especially true if your girl is bi-sexual. If her tongue is hanging out, consider buying her a lap dance! I have noticed that guys who bring dates to the strip clubs get more attention from the strippers. They like the fact that a woman is there to see the “dancing”. 

A Trip To Your Local Sex Shop

Going to a Sex Store is an interesting way to pass a rainy afternoon. Lots of fun stuff to explore, and if nothing else, get giddy over. Relaxing your normal inhibitions a bit by having a couple of drinks before going never hurts. It takes the pressure off, and just makes things a bit more fun. Then you can walk through the aisles and find out what makes her blush. If you see something sexy, tell her you would like to buy it for her. Ask her if there is anything that she wants to get for you? You can’t lose at the adult shop. Be aware that quality sex toys and outfits can put a serious dent in the pocket book. But if there’s anything that is worth the dough, it’s a sex toy!

Role Playing

A fun and kinky date is one in which you pretend to be strangers that meet at the bar, and then you seduce each other using your different persona. Act like you don’t know each other and meet at a hotel bar. Buy her a drink and start chatting her up. Watch the bartender get more and more impressed the more and more she seems to be interested in you. Then, rent one of the rooms in the hotel and get the sheets dirty, if you know what I mean. She can play “Nurse Naughty”, “Sex Teacher”, “Marion the Librarian”, almost anything.

The best way to pick the role to play is to write them all down on separate pieces of paper, and then pick them out of a hat or something.


S&M Parlor

For a real change of pace, consider Bondage. It requires that you fully trust your partner, and that may actually add to your relationship. Lots of people like the bondage and domination part of it. Saddo is not everyone's cup of tea..  Most BDSM is just a show, and not usually painful, so do not be turned off by it.  Do not be afraid to go just because you have never done it before. Most BDSM parlors will help newbies so that they will become regular clientele.



Well, that should get you started. In the off season, most Halloween shops have  sexy costumes to rent as well, so you do not have to have a huge closet full of clothes Look around and see if you can find fetish parties, murder mystery parties, or even sex theme hotel rooms. Just remember to keep the KINK in and have fun!

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Fun Dating Advice for Men

A Condom Conundrum

If you’re out there on the dating scene trying to find someone new, you know how much fun it can be. There are a lot of new people to meet and get to know. Some of them will eventually fizzle into distant acquaintances, some will become friends, and a lucky group will become potential relationships.

Along with the quest for the love of your life comes the side benefit of a lot of sex with new partners. There is nothing wrong with it – sex is an important component of any adult relationship. However, having all this sex with all these new partners, only a fool would proceed with out protection. And protection means condoms.

Condoms are not everybody's favorite thing to wear. They severely reduce the sensation for men and as such often make sex less pleasurable for women as well. If you had to put a condom on your tongue before eating, there would be no fat people in the world. You don’t starve, but you don’t TASTE!” In this day and age of AIDS and other debilitating STDs, you would have to be crazy not to wear one.

At least there are some fun choices for the selection of your little rubber buddies now. There are now more choices than just slippery or dry. There are some really kinky condoms out there for the adventurous – flavored, and colored, and studded, and ribbed. Make sure you read the packaging before you go too crazy with any of them though – some are novelty condoms, and do not portend to prevent STIs or pregnancy. These types of novelty condoms are just meant to have some fun with. For serious sex, stick to the boring drug store variety for the most part

Some of the kookier condoms that are on the rise are quite interesting. First off, there is the “Inspiral Condom”. It is a spiral ribbed condom that is really catching on quickly. U.S. Surgeon Dr. A. Reddy, known for creating the female condom, invented it. When in place on the penis, it looks like a big screw. There are rave reviews on the Internet for this product. Women love it because it is much more sensual for them and increases the intensity of their orgasm, while men like the fact that they feel the sensation much better than on a regular condom. And you’ll literally be getting “screwed” when you have sex with it. No longer a colloquialism!

And how about the "Viagra Condom"? It can improve the size and length of an erection. It is meant for people with partial erectile dysfunction, but can be useful for guys who have trouble keeping it up once the condom goes on. Even the best of us have occasional problems in this arena, so I am going to keep one of these babies in my pack-sack of sexual goodies.

On a side note, I have been watching a lot of “survival” television programs lately – the kind where someone is lost and needs to survive in the wild. Almost every emergency and/or survival kit out there these days has a few condoms in there. And for good reason! They can be used as a water-proof case for matches, electronics, or anything that will fit in there. Also, they can hold up to a GALLON of water for drinking and transportation. Pretty handy for something so compact! Add a few to your emergency kit for when the grid goes down.

Condoms are the epitome of over engineering. Most men only ejaculate 1.5 teaspoons, but the condom can hold a gallon without bursting. Even elephants only cum in quarts!

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